Remembering Christina

I first met Christina online.  It was either 1998 or 1999.  We both belonged to the same homeschool group.  There was a small number of us that were christians and felt we no longer fit into the group.  So, we started our own, one that would be distinctly Christian.  From what I can remember it was me, Christina Hooker, Kris Bales, Jennifer Dewey, and Susan Tadle.  We are all still members of this group.
I met Christina in person for the first time at an outing that we had arranged for the group at a local park.  I still remember her standing quietly smiling over to the side, just watching the group, with a baby on her hip.  I am so glad I met her.  We had so much in common.  She was such a fun, smart person.
I have been a member of the homeschool group ever since the beginning.  Even though I am no longer homeschooling I just can't leave the group.  I love them.  It has been such a big part of my life for so long.  There may be a time soon, when I will say goodbye to the group, but for now I want to stay.  The group will not be the same without Christina though.
Christina, became one of my best friends.  I know there is no way to convey what her friendship meant to me.  She was even my daughter's Doula when my grand-daughter was being born.  She has been there for me through many transitions in my life, and was still my friend.
I wish there was a way to properly honor her and the friendship we had.  She was such a blessing in my life.  These words do not adequately convey that.  She was a beautiful person, loving wife, great mother, and wonderful friend.  She will be greatly missed.  I wanted to share with you what she meant to me.
I apologize if this is not really written coherently, I am just writing from my heart as it pours out.

It was October 1986 when I met him for the first time. Friends had introduced us, and we went to a haunted house for our first date. After that first date we didn’t stop talking or seeing each other for the next two years. We fell in love – so much so that we wanted to get married.

I know that a lot of you reading this will not buy into the next part of my story. That’s okay. You don’t have to. It’s my story. I know I was young, but I genuinely and deeply loved him.

One beautiful fall day, we hiked into the woods. We decided that all we needed was for God to marry us. We professed our love to each other and, yes, exchanged vows – just us, and God. We meant every word. But, like I said, we were young. We let circumstances and people (including our parents) get in the way. We broke up and went our separate ways.

The day that I cried out to the Lord for a husband that would love me. I thought of that boy from years ago who had loved me so much. I remembered the day we had married in the woods. I craved that love again. I deserved to be loved. God answered my prayer. We found each other again.

That boy is now my husband. Again. Some may disagree, but I believe in my heart that we were truly married that day in the woods before God. I wonder if that is why my other marriages (and his) didn’t work out. He was my true and my true love.

Since my marriage March 24, 2006, I have been blessed and for the first time, I am happy. I feel I am now where I belong. I wish everyone could be as happy in their marriages as I am in mine. God is awesome! He does restore and bless.

Mistakes cont'd

After the divorce of my first husband, I was lonely.  I wanted so badly to have a happy marriage and family.  I wanted and needed a father figure in the home for my kids.  But, I wasn't exactly thinking with a Christian mindset.  See, even though I had been raised in church, no one had ever taught me that Christians should not be with non Christians!  I really did not know this important fact.  Not sure that it would have changed things, but it definitely would have helped me the second time around.
My next husband was someone I had grew up with!  His sister was one of my best friends in school.  I met him when I was only twelve years old!  We lived together for two years, and during that time we were happy.  So, we got married.  Everything changed as soon as we said the I do's, and not for the better.  Just one week after our wedding he hit me for the first time.  Nothing was as humiliating as being seen with a black eye.  The way people looked at me, and the questions that I didn't know how to answer.  He remained abusive not only physically, but verbally and emotionally for out entire ten year marriage.  I won't go into all the details in this post.  But know this, I am not one to not fight back.  I will not just sit and be a victim. Ever.  I had him put in jail and divorced him.  The only really good thing to come out of that marriage was my three beautiful kids I had with him.
It was during this marriage that I really turned to God for answers.  I began to see the mistakes I had made, and that God did have a plan and a future for me.  I cried out to God.  I so desperately wanted and deserved to be loved.  I wanted a husband.    God heard my cries and He answered.  He brought back into my life, my true husband.  God answered my prayer and it is a beautiful love story. But, that is for another post.

Mistakes

We all make mistakes.  No one is perfect.  I am not different.  I have made many mistakes growing up.  When I was 18yrso I was stuck at home, no car, no driver's license, and no way to get to a job if I could get one.  I was stuck.  At least I felt that way.  Desperate people do desperate things.  I married one of my brother's friends.  Not because I loved him, I think I just wanted out of my parent's house.  I realized what a mistake I had made, and tried to have it anulled.(sp?)  One month later I again was single, and still stuck.  
I did not learn from that, sadly.  I married again in June of that same year to a man I had met only 2mos prior.  But, it seemed like this would work out.  He made me laugh.  I soon had my first child, a boy I named Joshua.  I was so in love with that baby boy!  My husband had a pretty good job and things seemed to be going well.  My new baby was only 3mos old when I found out that I was once again expecting!  What a shock to me!  I had a baby girl I named Amanda.  Here I was 20yrs old with 2 infants still in diapers.  My husband had been married before and had a daughter from that first marriage.  He was ordered to pay child support.  He quit his job to get out of paying the child support.  (that should have been my first warning)  His ex was an alcoholic and did drugs, so he told me he felt that paying her was enabling her to continue to do the drugs. (he actually just didn't want to pay)
This marriage lasted 6yrs.  He never took care of us financially, and often left us for days at a time.
Of course after the divorce, he never paid the child support and had pretty much abandoned our children.  I was devastated.  I went into christian counseling even.  Would I ever be happy? 
I know this is probably boring you to death, and I am airing all my past with you.  But, it is freeing for me to do so.   I will finish this in an additional post.

Made a list of things that many of you might not know about me.  Some good, some not so good, some I am proud of, others I am not.  But, sharing with you just the same.

1. My favorite color is pink.  But, since pink doesn't look good on everything, blue is my second choice.
2.  I have been legally married 4 times.  (This is one of those admissions I am not so proud of.) One of those times does not count either.  One pretty much abandoned me and his children, and the next one was abusive.  I am now happily married to the love of my life and the one I was suppose to be with all this time, and God brought us back together.  He was my true husband all along, which is why all the others didn't work out.  (a long story for another day)
3.  I am legally blind.  I have a hereditary degenerative eye disease called Retinitispigmantosa. (R.P. for short)  There is no cure and it usually results in total blindness.  You can't tell that I have a problem with my vision generally, unless you try to shake my hand or something and I don't see you.  I have tunnel vision, and yes I drive.  Scared?
4.I am a Christian.  I was saved at the age of 6.  I was raised in church.  I believe in God's word and that he sent his son Jesus to die for our sins, so that we through Him might be saved.  I was later baptized as an adult.
That's enough for this post.  Questions?

Siblings

My parent's thought since I turned out so cute, that they would have another baby.  Well, that sort of back fired on them.  First of all, they got a boy, second he just wasn't as cute as me. LOL  :)  My little brother David Carlyle Tackett was born on January 5, 1973.  But, it wasn't until I was a little bit older that I realized that I had other siblings!  This was a huge revelation to me!  Blew my little kid mind. I didn't understand where these other siblings were or where they came from!  Where were they?  Can we play together?
My dad had been married to another woman, before my mom!  Another huge revelation to me!  How could he do that??  As a kid that just seemed crazy to me, but okay I'll go along with that.  I wanted sisters badly, after all I was stuck with David! (love ya Dave)  We could play dress-up, and with our baby dolls together.  Right?  Wrong.  Not only were they older than me, but they lived across the country from me in Las Vegas, Nevada!!  I had 3 sisters, and an older brother.  Debbie, Joyce, Carol, and Clyde Jr..  Over the years I did get to meet and know them some.  But, I didn't have the relationship I desired to have with them, till now.  Thanks to Facebook I can keep in touch more!  Gotta love technology!  I hope to one day take a trip out to Vegas and meet everyone! Here is a picture from when I was little with 3 of siblings.

Baby Me!